Eric Camp

Christ-Follower, Husband, Father, Pastor

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about

Husband, Father, Pastor! I am the Senior Pastor of Collective Church on The Gulf Coast in Pascagoula, MS. Visit my Facebook page at facebook.com/ericcamp or the Collective Church website at www.MyCollectiveChurch.com // facebook.com/ourcollectivechurch

  • health update

    I will start by saying thank you to everyone who prayed and reached out to help in anyway. Means the world to me and my family and we appreciate it more than you know. Collective family, you are the best. We love and are truly grateful for you for your support, prayers, love and support. Thank you.

    2 weeks ago I woke up with a migraine that we had no idea what triggered it. I havent had a migraine headache in 30 years since I was in high school.

    I went ahead and went to the office, however, seemed to get worse throughout the day as I became more dizzy and disoriented at times. Doctor appointment on Tuesday where they did an MRI and EKG and bloodwork. Blood work came back irregular in a few places, but EKG and MRI were both normal. Fast forward to Thursday and Friday and the migraine seemed to ease a bit, but i was having these “episodes” where i would get dizzy and then a headache for about 10 minutes. This repeated itself about every 30-45 minutes all day until Saturday. All the while, I was too nauseous to eat or drink much. I had not eaten since Sunday night.

    On Saturday, Toni noticed my pulse would drop into the low 40s while I was having these episodes. So we went to the Ocean Springs ER to visit for about 5 hours where they gave me fluids and pain meds. I was severely dehydrated. They also did another blood panel and there was indication of potential kidney disease amongst a few other things of concern.

    Back home, same routine. Episodes every hour or so. However, I was able to regain an appetite and eat and drink more.

    If you live on the Gulf Coast, you know that Monday and Tuesday brought us our first ever winter storm with accumulating snow! It was mesmerizing watching it fall and stick from my living room couch. I do hate I didnt get to go out and play in it with my wife and son as this was the first time in my son’s 22 years to ever see snow!

    Gradual improvement throughout the week and another doctor’s appointment on Friday, January 24 where more blood work was done and all levels were back to normal!

    So the short of all of this is that it seems I had a migraine and then became dehydrated and had caffeine withdrawal headaches after the migraine. I am working on staying hydrated, limiting my caffeine intake and reducing stress, negativity, and frustration as much as possible from my life.

    As my doctor told me, “you are not 25 anymore! You are an old man who has to pay better attention to stress and take better care of yourself…” So with those words, I hope to encourage you to do the same. Pay attention to how you life, take care of yourself, eat healthy, and enjoy life with the ones you love more… I know I am.

  • noise

    When I was a kid, in the 80s, television stations and radio stations wouldn’t always come in clear. Sometimes you had to turn the knob just a little to adjust the reception to pick up the correct frequency so you could listen to the radio or watch the TV program.

    We don’t always have those type issues in this digital world we now live in, however, we do still have similar issues spiritually.

    The noise we have in our lives now derive from all the social media posts, the constant influx of information about something, somebody, somewhere else consumes us and is noise. It is distracting static.

    We can’t hear the voice of The Holy Spirit because of all this noise.

    Personally, I am in process of eliminating as much noise and static in my life so I can focus on the people and places in my life that deserve my attention and concentration.

    May I encourage you to evaluate and do the same? Life is too short and the people in our lives are too special to allow ourselves to be consumed with the static and noise of the world.

    Do something radical! Simplify your life. Turn off the device. Go for a walk, outside. Take a ride by the beach, go get an ice cream cone at DQ or Sonic with the kids and eliminate the noise. I believe we would all be better if we did.

  • 25 things learned in 25 years of ministry

    I see many leaders posting things they have learned in their ministry tenure. The interesting things are the similarities of the struggles and realizations when reading some of these posts by others. We all have a lot in common. This month is our 20th year on the Gulf Coast as we moved from Oxford, AL on January 1, 2005 with a vision for a new church in Pascagoula, MS. Oasis Church was then born officially in 2009. We changed the name during covid to Collective Church.

    Before moving to the Gulf Coast, My wife and I served as Youth Pastor, Children’s Pastor (Toni) and Associate Pastor for 5 years at our church in Oxford, AL.

    Here are 25 things I have learned over the past 25 years of ministry:

    1. God is always faithful.
    2. My family is my greatest gift beyond my salvation. I wish I had always realized it.
    3. Things are not always as they appear.
    4. I took too many criticisms personally.
    5. I always grow stronger when I spend time in God’s Word and prayer.
    6. My wife has endured a lot in our ministry. I needed to minister to her more.
    7. I have a hard time trusting people.
    8. I need to ask for forgiveness more quickly.
    9. I have regrets. Working on this.
    10. I wish my son had not seen so many of my frustrations as a pastor or a dad or a husband.
    11. Life is too short. Live it totally for Jesus every moment.
    12. Some of my most miserable days came when I lived to please people rather than God.
    13. When I don’t take care of myself physically or emotionally, ministry seems more of a burden than a joy.
    14. Our children are young only for a season. Some of my greatest joys have been with my son.
    15. I’ve never seen an argument won on social media. Never.
    16. The local church is the best imperfect place on earth.
    17. I am always wiser when I listen to the wisdom of others.
    18. Too often, I list my problems rather than count my blessings.
    19. My success is not measured by the size of my church or the prestige of my organization.
    20. I’ve needed to demonstrate kindness more intentionally and more frequently.
    21. I fight pride more often than I’d like to admit.
    22. Some of my worst moments in ministry were when I lost my temper.
    23. I have overcomplicated things more than I would like to admit.
    24. I need to practice the discipline of repentance more frequently.
    25. Real Friends are rare and I’ve spent most of my life not having true friendships. (Working on this). (It’s me…hi… I’m the problem, it’s me 🙂

    I am a work in process, but am intentionally working on the areas of most concern.

    Last year I did start therapy with a psychologist that has helped me and my mental health. I highly recommend everyone to get therapy!

    How about you? What does your list look like? (regardless of how many years)

  • metrics for hiring at collective church

    My wife and I have the privilege of being the Sr. Pastors of Collective Church in Pascagoula, MS. Through the past 20 years, we have learned a few things when it comes to evaluating new hires and staff development. I don’t think I can claim to have come up with all of this on my own as through these years we have had some great mentors and examples through the various networks and relationships we have established in ministry. We have been blessed to learn from many of the nation’s and world’s best church leaders. Maybe this might help you if you are a pastor or even a hiring manager of a business. Happy New Year!

    CULTURAL DEVELOPMENT

    There are 3 categories of leaders typically that can be hired:

    1. Expert
    2. Rising star
    3. Culture fit

    Expert: will get work done

    Rising star: difficult to find but will mesh after a season

    Cultural fit: need training for job, must find internally, will reinforce values

    We need more cultural fits, all the others aren’t working out. This is imperative.

    Evaluation metrics of staff and leaders:

    Culture

    Competency

    Chemistry

    Calling

    Character

    WE ALL SHOULD ASK:

    Should this person be on our team?

    To what degree does this person reflect our staff values?

    Do they have Integrity?

    Do they have a Positive attitude?

    Do they have a work ethic?

    Do the aspire for excellence?

    Are they a team player?

    Do they exhibit humility?

    Our Grading scale:

    CULTURE METRICS:

    1. We don’t see potential to teach our culture
    2. Need to help them, but there’s a chance they could work
    3. Our values are present
    4. We would be comfortable letting them teach our culture
    5. Ambassador of our culture

    Competency: can they do the job?

    What is the job description?

    Process of Evaluation:

    1. Myers Briggs
    2. Enneagram type
    3. Working genius
    4. DISC

    Competency Metrics:

    1. They have No potential
    2. We Have to develop
    3. They have the Credentials, but no experience
    4. They Have experience somewhere else
    5. They Have experience and can explain how to solve problems related to the job

    Chemistry Metrics:

    1. I don’t see how I would work with this person
    2. I could see interactions with this person being a challenge
    3. I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other
    4. I would enjoy working with this person on a regular basis
    5. I would choose to hang out with this person outside of work

    Calling Metrics:

    Is God calling this person to be on our team? What is this person’s heart desire?

    1. Doesn’t necessarily aspire to or feel called to ministry
    2. They Aspire to ministry but haven’t had a specific moment where they felt called
    3. They are Able to identify specific moments where there were called to ministry
    4. They are Able to explain why they feel called to ministry and has confirmation from others
    5. There has been an enduring commitment to ministry despite difficult challenges

    CHARACTER:

    Will this person be able to live with integrity?

    Are they healthy? Family healthy? Mental health?

    Soul health questions to ask candidate:

    1. What are some things you do to maintain good health and wellness?
    2. Talk about your spiritual disciplines that you are proud of.
    3. Talk about your personal priorities. What is the #1 priority in your life? #2?
    4. How would you describe the difference in your mind and your soul?
    5. What keeps you up at night?
    6. What situations have caused you anxiety in the past and how does that affect you now?
    7. What gets you out of bed? What is your “why?” What do you live for?
    8. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
    9. What is your “go to” when under stress?
    10. Talk about your sabbath.
    11. If you were hired at Collective, what would you want your reputation to be?

    CHARACTER Metrics:

    1. They Have known character challenges and is unwilling to work on them
    2. They have identified a character challenge and is willing to work on it.
    3. They are Actively working on character challenges.
    4. They have had character challenges but seems to have overcome them.
    5. They are not aware of any past or present character challenges.

    THE HIRING PROCESS:

    Job description clearly defined

    Determine personality profiles

    Pay range / Pay scale dependent on hours and work load

    Application process

    Step 1:

    Phone screen // Determine if potentially a Culture fit

    Step 2:

    One on one interview with member of HR (Lead Team) (for Competency and Calling)

    Step 3:

    Group interview with HR (Lead Team) members (Is there Chemistry?)

    Step 4:

    Soul health interview with designated Lead Team member (Character)

    Step 5:

    Entire Lead Team Discuss with Sr. Pastor findings of interviews and recommendation for hire.

    Key markers of an attractive staff member:

    They have Longevity at Collective – all seasons of life!

    They are High performers.

                            Intelligence

                            Energy

                            Integrity

    They are self-motivated and committed to Personal development

    Can they grow?

    Are they Vested?

    We Must have clarity all the time!

    Purpose of Performance reviews for all existing staff.:

                            To set and reset clear expectations

                            Use staff values as part of scoring system

    Inventory Questions when interviewing:

    What do you feel is expected of you in your role?

    How do you think you should prioritize all of the things you are responsible for right now?

    How well do your responsibilities line up with what you are passionate about?

    Can I help you accomplish any of your goals?

    What do you expect of me as your team leader?

    To keep the best people… we need to let go of the worst people.

    Top tier staff will leave toxic environments… we have to protect the environment (culture) fiercely!

    Be honest with yourself when you reposition an underperforming staff member to a new role.

    Do you think that is what is best?

    Or are you doing it to just avoid having to let them go?

    How do you know when it’s time to let somebody go?

    1. Have you had previous conversations with them about this issue?
    2. Would you feel good about them representing our staff’s culture?
    3. Would you make a decision to hire them again right now if they were not on your team?
    4. If no to one or more of the above, it may be time to part ways.

    Is the vision of the house big enough to hold attention of high performers?

    We cannot and will not hire manipulative people in any role going forward.

    Evaluate:

    Is there Optimism every day to work?

    Are they passionate?

    Do they honor?

    Are they weird? (doctrinally, personally, socially)

    We have to CREATE A VOLUNTEER CULTURE! WHICH MEANS… All staff should be coaching and raising up people!

    Are all of our staff doing that?

    The Sr. Pastor needs a lot of help to do what needs to be done.

    We will constantly coach leaders…

  • The Year of “Reset”

    Collective Church Family:

    Every year, we pray and seek The Lord on the specific mission for our Church. This usually concludes with a specific word and this year is no different.

    This season we are moving into is not just one of practical implications, but one of prophetic significance.

    In so many ways, The Church has been reliant on the infrastructure of man’s methods, and The Lord, in His mercy, has allowed us to see how they no longer are effective and allowed us to see the frailty and limitations of our own methods, so we can let them go and let Him build His House.

    There is a shaking… There is an uncertainty, there is also an expectation. Unfortunately, people have been running to the charisma and sales tactics of man. Church leaders have consumed themselves with selfish ambition and allowed the enemy to even use them to attempt a dismantle of HIS Church. God is asking us to follow Him and His way according to His Word. A RESET.

    When we do this, a demolition begins. We are already seeing this. Kingdoms are crumbling, political climates and selfish ambitions are eroding and integrity of leadership and holiness will rise out of those ashes. There is too much dysfunction, compromise and chaos in the Body of Christ and we believe whole-heartedly, this is coming to an end in this season of RESET. Many who are in area of leadership now will not be able to continue forward in this mandate of purification. If, and only if, repentance and course correction is had, will sustainability be had with existing leadership.

    Psalm 127:1 says: “Unless The Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.”

    In the midst of what is breaking down, God is building HIS House. That is why there is such tension. There is tension of these 2 extremes. When strongholds start to be leveled and uprooting spiritual assignments that have plagued The Church begins, we see the warfare and the fight. This is all coming to an end in 25.

    While it may feel messy, it’s The Lord’s mercy and His desire to see the church REBOOTED and RE-BIRTHED in PURITY.

    We can’t rebuild anymore using our methods and man-made tools. This rebuilding and Reset involves separating the unclean from the clean. Leadership cannot and will not tolerate sin as in gossip, slander, chaos, confusion and dissension in going forward. A house divided will not stand and this type activity and action is what is causing unsettled foundations. The season is now upon us to Reset to the ways, desires, and expectations of The Lord Jesus Christ.

    We cannot be compromised by culture and demonic influences, which we have allowed to have a seat at the table for far too long.

    This is all part of the Divine detox that the Body of Christ desperately needs to move into the place God is calling us to. Over the next year, we will face critical decisions: Will we surrender to this detoxification process, or will we continue pretending and doing things our way?

    The Lord is resetting us back to our default settings. Personally. We have all acquired alot of pain, trauma, and bondage, but The Lord is unyoking us all from that past season. This is a personal dismantling.

    The Lord in mercy, grace and His great love for us, dismantles us so He can rebuild us. In the natural, this process may feel cruel, like things are falling apart, But what it really is, is The Lord delivering us and bringing us back into freedom and joy that He wants us to have in our calling.

    We have been burdened by religion, Jezebel influences, demonic lies, and witchcraft. These things have weighed us down and prevented us from walking in the purity of our calling for most of our most immediate past.

    God is leading us to a RESET. A detox. Much of what is happening around us IS NOT THE ENEMY. Sometimes, when doors close and we are removed from places or relationships, it’s not the enemy. God is freeing us and delivering us from these bondages that have overwhelmed.

    So, with any RESET, there is transition. There are new assignments, there are evaluative contemplations that all of us have to consider and decide to partake in or continue in the status quo and the normal flow of what we have been accustomed to. It is never easy and it is never always convenient. But, if we yield, it will be drastically fruitful for us personally and for our church in 2025. The year of RESET.

    I will preach this and discuss this more on Wednesday, January 8th in our night of worship to and for the entire church.

    “Unless The Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” -Psalm 127:1

    Toni and I are so grateful to be your pastor. Merry Christmas and let’s go into 2025 with great expectation!

    -Eric

  • Milestones and… Sometimes there are just no words….

    I am so thankful for what my wife Toni and I get to do. We pastor the greatest church on the Mississippi Gulf Coast at Collective! This past weekend was one for the record books I guess… We saw the 10,000th person surrender their life to Jesus since we officially launched the church in 2009. This post is ONLY to show appreciation and thankfulness to all the wonderful people that serve and who are members at Collective. I am so thankful and humbled, along with my wife, to pastor such an amazing church making such a significant difference!

    Also, speaking of this past weekend, it was a Gathering that I honestly don’t have a lot of words for. The presence of The Holy Spirit, the power of the praise and worship being lifted to Jesus, the decisions to follow Jesus, the decisions to go public in water baptism, the amazing message from my beautiful wife, the joy that was in this house and the love was so undeniable.

    The actual presence of God was so tangible that I believe everyone’s life was changed forever by that one moment.

    Let’s continue to pursue Jesus Church. Let’s continue to pray, fast, grow and disciple and become a closer disciple ourselves! These are truly interesting and amazing days we are living in!

    Yes, we will be looking to add that 2nd Gathering time real soon as we we were overcrowded again in parking, children and 80% full in auditorium seating. Stay tuned…

    Sometimes… There are just no Words and No Words are needed… Just keep pursuing Jesus and worshipping Him and serving Him and others… What happened this past weekend cant be fabricated or manipulated… only experienced when we are real, sincere, and passionate in our pursuit of Him. And that will always leave us with No Words… just Awe.

  • Some raw facts… personally about me… proceed with caution

    Why I Am Brutally Honest

    1. I don’t like fake.  I hate it. I feel that is one of the biggest problems in the church today is fakeness! I feel like a plastic person not sharing what’s on my heart and mind.

    2. It keeps my relationships healthy because my rawness causes me to deal with issues quickly. I have learned to balance this over the years.

    3. I believe employees need to know where they stand, whether good or bad.  I think it’s unfair for an employee to be blindsided. Everyone benefits!

    4. It keeps my heart free from anger, hurt and bitterness.  Because I’m honest with people, I don’t let junk build up in my heart. I talk it through, cry it through and work it out so that I can live free in my heart. This has taken time for me to adopt in ministry. In the business world, it was a different deal as I didn’t have the problem with this as I did earlier in ministry. I have learned that for the benefit of me and all those around me, being honest and dealing with it keeps it from my dinner table at night with my family too!

    5. It encourages people.  I’m brutally honest about how awesome people are and how I believe in them. My rawness can be very encouraging too!!

    6. On the flip side, my honesty can be discouraging to people. I have learned over the years that timing with my honesty is key. This is a constant work in progress. Believe it or not, my wife Toni has helped me with this more than anyone!

    7. Because of my brutal honesty, I am an easy person to read.  You know if I’m happy, sad, mad or glad.

    8. Over the years, I have learned that tone, when I share brutally honest facts, is key.  My tone is much better today than it was a few years ago. However, there is still room for improvement!

    9. I am brutally honest because I really care about people. I want what’s best for people, and I believe being honest only helps people who want to be helped.

    10. I really believe in people, and I am honest so that I can speak to their potential. I believe in developing people, and I have found that the best way to develop people to be all God wants them to be is to be honest about their strengths and weaknesses.

    What Makes me Smile!

    1. Date night with my wife! Gives us opportunity to reconnect with one another and keep the marriage healthy!

    2. Eating dinner around the table as a family!

    3. Working with people who deeply love God and me

    4. Working with people I like

    5. When somebody appreciates me for what I’ve done or my investment into their life

    6. Going to work makes me happy.  I truly enjoy and feel called to what I do.

    7. Talking to my pastor friends around America always encourages me.

    8. The SIMPLE life. Toni and I are embracing simplicity and the “quiet” life as much as possible these days!

    What Gets Under My Skin

    1. When people say one thing and do another

    2. When people take advantage of me

    3. When a church leader says they want to meet with me to ask me questions and spend the entire time talking about themselves

    4. When people don’t put roots down at one church because they attend four different churches

    5. When people are late and don’t notify others that they will be late

    6. When people don’t say thank you!!!!!!!

    7. When people talk down to others

    8. When people are religious and driven by tradition instead of following Jesus!

    9. When people think their denomination is the best, so they tear down other denominations

    10. When people shun others because they are hurting, broken, trapped in sin, a different race or because they are poor

    11. Last but not least… NEGATIVITY! I cannot deal with a negative attitude or a negaholic… This is a big weakness and probably the largest thing that gets under my skin.

    IN CLOSING… This month I will turn 46. I have learned alot and have grown alot over the past year especially. I am always weighing and attempting to navigate all things with more wisdom and caution.

    I have had some deep struggles emotionally and even spiritually, but I will say this… I am a much better person on this side of those struggles than I was before! I am so grateful for my wife, my family, my therapist, my friends, our staff and leaders at Collective and others who have helped shape my life over these 46 years, ESPECIALLY THIS PAST YEAR!

    THE BEST IS STILL YET TO COME!

  • COLLECTIVE CULTURE…

    Church Culture

    Every church and staff has it’s own unique culture and flavor.  Here is a list of some of the Collective Church culture:

    1. We have a Jesus and Bible culture instead of a religious, stuck in tradition or motivated by denominational dogma or preferences.  People don’t last long around Collective who are religious, stuck in tradition or motivated by denominational dogma.  We are all about Jesus, the Bible and loving people.

    2. We have a very raw and honest culture.  Most people who come to work at Collective are shocked at how brutally honest we are about everything, whether good or bad.  People always know where they stand at Collective.  Honest and open communication is what we are all about.

    3. We have a volunteer culture.  We value equipping the saints to do the work of the ministry.  We equip our church family to do the ministry instead of hiring a bunch of staff.  We like to have a lean staff and a massive amount of volunteers. Most of our staff work other jobs. This is unheard of in most churches our size and larger. But we feel we must no develop a “staff-infection” when it comes to finances and leadership!

    4. We have a change culture.  We are always changing things.  It’s a part of who we are.  Change is easy for us.  Our people respond well to change because it’s what they are used to.

    5. We have a leadership culture.  We value equipping others to do the ministry instead of doing the ministry ourselves.  Doers don’t excel in our culture.  People who love to equip and make others successful thrive in our culture and continue to rise to new levels of responsibility.

    6. We have a strong work ethic culture.  We value people who work extremely hard.  People who want to coast, take it easy and are lazy don’t work well at Collective.  People who are extremely driven, have a great work ethic and who produce results thrive in our culture.

    7. We have a diverse culture. We value people from every walk of life. We value every skin color and age group.  Diversity is a huge part of who we are. We are very unified and very diversified at the same time.

    8. We have a reaching people far from God culture.  Every Sunday and Wednesday (youth ministry) people give their lives to Christ. We have a come just as you are and no matter where you are in life and experience the love of Christ culture.  Every Sunday our church is filled with people far from God, and it can get really messy, but we love it.

    9. We have an outreach and loving our community culture.  We spend tons and tons of money investing into the hurting, broken, lonely, poor and lost in our community.  We feed, clothe and help educate our community.  We send our people out to do community projects.  We have a huge heart to show the love of Jesus to our community and around the world in tangible ways.

    10. We have a doing life together culture.  We want to connect people to God and to others.  We are passionate about connecting our church family in small groups, and we have tons of people connected in a small group on Wednesday nights on campus and a few outside of campus. We have a culture where the church body ministers to one another, and they are not dependent on the paid pastors to provide all the ministry.  Our church family cares, supports, encourages and holds one another accountable.  

  • Leaving The Church!? FROM THE VAULT // #2013 Post

    Ministry is hard. The hardest thing to do in ministry is to pour into people’s lives, introduce them to the friends that they have, the faith that they hold, and the freedom they experience, and then **poof**…like you never meant a thing…they are gone!

    “You aren’t a human anymore when you become a pastor. You are thing. A thing that is there to baptize them, bless them, pray for them, and serve them, but if you cross them, fail them, or fall short for them they will leave you to go find another thing. No one goes to the doctor because they care how the doctor feels. They go to the doctor to get better…and once they are they will have no use for the doctor.” – A pastor friend of mine.

    I think it is many times overlooked that I am a man and have feelings just like you. Maybe you understand that, maybe you don’t. I hope you do. We left a very comfortable life in central Alabama where the salary was big and the success was off the charts to plant a life-giving church on the Gulf Coast. Thousands have come through the doors of Collective since. Over 20,000  people in 20 years to be exact! THAT’S A CRAZY NUMBER!!!! Yes, that is documented through systems! Yes, we are blessed to be a church with many people from all different walks and types, but there are A LOT MORE THAT have NOT STAYED than those who have!  So let me just talk to you whether you are a member of Collective now or ever have been a part of Collective in the past.

    Does it hurt when people leave the church? Absolutely! Does it hurt worse with some than others? Absolutely! However, most of it has to do with THE WAY you do it.

    I am not saying that you should always stay at one church, my church, or that I should always be your pastor. What I am saying is that there is a right way and wrong way to move on.

    Wrong Way: (From my perspective, especially to other pastors)

    1) Just disappear: You didn’t know you had failed them or fallen short, but they just quit you. And since you are just some emotionless thing, you don’t deserve to know!

    2) Email: Really? Do I really need to explain how awful that is? I was there when your baby was born, or your wedding, or I led you to the Lord, and that meant so much that you wanted to send me an email?

    3) Just tell about 10 other people: Eventually it will get back to me, and you knew that. If anyone in the world did that to you it would devastate you, but I’m a pastor so we probably just pray all day and read our Bibles, and things like that don’t make us cry and want to quit.

    4) Facebook/Text/Or any other social media: I have received some of the most hateful messages of my life via social media. So much so that I don’t even read it or go on it anymore. I want to be able to connect with friends and family, but I have had to stop getting on there because people use it just to rip you apart.

    5) Call or Text: I get that sometimes situations might prevent you from sitting down face to face, but use this rule of thumb, If I took the time to sit down face to face with you to help you out, you should at least do me the same if you are going to go.

    The fact that I am even writing to say it hurts is sort of taboo in my field. We as pastors are supposed to be bigger than these kinds of things… You know…turn the other cheek, forgive just as we have been forgiven, don’t return insult with insult but insult with blessing.

    I know all of that, but the longer I am in this, the more I realize why only 10% of guys ever finish in ministry and why 80% of pastors say they are lonely and don’t have 1 good friend. NOT 1!

    We aren’t a thing. We aren’t a service to be provided or a healer of wound.  Nor are we a savior or anything else like that.

    We are men. Real men. Who have families, and fears and short comings, and insecurities, and pain deeper than the people we are trying to pull out of pain.

    Publicly, we smile and act like nothing is wrong, but inside, we are hurting and lonely. Week after week we stand in crowded rooms as the loneliest person in it. We wonder how much longer it will take until you decide you are done with us, and then we will smile as you check in on Facebook at other churches, or we pass you in the grocery store or see you out around town, and in case you were wondering, we aren’t thinking anything other than, ”Why would they just leave me like that and never say a word?” or “They could have left without being so hateful?”

    So it hurts. I might be the first pastor to say it. I don’t know that I have ever heard many others acknowledge it.  We talk about it with each other…pastor to pastor, but we never say anything to you. It hurts and quite honestly, I think we deserve better. It’s a shame that the devil doesn’t have to work to make pastors quit, when its easier and more effective to use the Christians.

    I don’t know that this post would ever change anything, but my prayer is that whoever your pastor is, you would remember that he’s a Christian first, he’s probably a husband and a daddy, and he is trying. He is giving his whole life to try and impact yours. He doesn’t need your life long allegiance, worship or praise, he just needs you to treat him as something more than a thing. I get that seasons change and needs change and feelings get hurt. Trust me I get it!  But just remember, we got into this to serve.

    If you are a pastor reading this, keep your head up.

    If you are reading this and you left the wrong way, I encourage you to go make it right.

    I hope this post didn’t offend…its just the most honest post I know how to write.

  • Relationships

    Today at Collective Church, I will be speaking on Relationships and boundaries that sometimes have to be made in toxic relationships and acquaintances.

    Just because you are “family” and “blood” doesn’t make you obligated to endure trauma and toxic environments and abuse.

    Everyone needs this message today. Everyone also needs to define their relationships according to the Truth of God’s Word and not the Culture of the world.

    See you at 10:00 at Collective!

    Watch here: https://live.mycollectivechurch.com/